Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
