we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
