hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize