i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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