and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
