I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
