she told me i tasted like america
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
