Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
