wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
