my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
