He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
