I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
