SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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