I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
