My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
