i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
