He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
