At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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