So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
