ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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