No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
