just tell him i said nine months
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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