Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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