i love accidental penises.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
