there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
