3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
