Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
