Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
