A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
