I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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