Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
