All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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