Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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