Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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