2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
