p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
