**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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