You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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