No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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