bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
