i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
