Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
