He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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