Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
