My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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