i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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