Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
