so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
