Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize