Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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