which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
