Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
