Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish i was in the wii world.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
