I got chris browned last night
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm always down for nudity.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
