The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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