Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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