"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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